What comes after 2014? Balthazar and a beach.

It could be Heaven, where Ellen finds herself. The sun is shining, there are flowers all around, butterflies and bees dancing among them. It's a peaceful meadow, idyllic.

The only catch is a lingering, shadowed memory of being pulled stretched and tugged and forced through some rough passage, and did she agree to it beforehand? She might have. What it is exactly she agreed to may be hard to recall, though. It's as if there's a thick fog between now and everything that happened wherever she was before, like the wall between waking and dreaming.

Castiel is standing close behind her, beaming contentedly, an expression that seems utterly and completely not like him at all. He looks a little tired, a little worn, inexplicably dressed in white hospital scrubs under the usual overcoat. He looks pleased with himself, but there's a hint of doubt beneath that.

It's sheer luck Cas survived the charge into the building, but he's not sure it's good luck. It was a suicide run, and he knew it. He was okay with that.

What he was not okay with was the moment when something broke, somewhere in the world, and in that instant he knew he'd outlived Dean.

By the time he staggered out of the building, miraculously intact despite his injuries, past-Dean was vanishing with a distant flutter that sounded of Zachariah and Dean- his Dean, was lying broken and dead on the ground. Completely numb, Cas followed his own feet over to the lifeless body, and stood gazing emptily down at him.

That was when Lucifer returned.

The Morningstar circled them both, the dead man, and the fallen shell of his baby brother, and he began to talk. Cas barely registered the words, barely registered his own thoughts, all he could think of was that Dean had sacrificed himself to kill Lucifer. Dean hadn't been able to finish the job, so it was left to him. Even in the prime of his power, Cas would never have been a match for Lucifer, but he had to try, but when he reached for his blade he couldn't even pull it free. His Grace was rusty and shrunken, and the weapon wouldn't come to hand, but Cas had never given up his Grace and it was still there somewhere inside. He couldn't pull out the angel blade, but he could move it, just a little, somewhere in the depths of his being. If Lucifer wondered at the hollow, unblinking gaze of those blue eyes, he didn't show it, too busy talking. While the words tumbled over him, Cas moved the blade inside himself, an inch at a time, carving. The banishing sigil didn't technically occupy real space as a mortal would have known it, but it was enough, carved somewhere inside Cas' own being, and when it was done he made a sudden lunge for the being in the white suit, wearing Sam's face.

Of course Cas expected to be blown into atoms, and as long as it hurt Lucifer badly that was fine, but what he didn't expect was to wake up intact and alive somewhere perfectly mundane.

So I avoided watching Supernatural for the longest time, partly because I needed another fandom like I need a kick in the shins, but I did finally break down just in time to have to wait for the last few episodes of Season 7. I did not expect to fall so hard for this show, or for Cas.
Anyways, I've made this journal in the full awareness that there are about fifty million Castiel RP journals out there.

As of the moment, this journal is not part of any particular community or canon, apart from a musebox I share with friends. RP stuff linked here will probably be mostly stuff from there, or possibly meme communities if I venture that far. If you're interested in RPing with me, I am willing to play Cas from virtually any part of canon, including AU Hippie Cas, Crazy! Cas, and possibly trying-to-be-God Cas if somebody is really wanting that. Just let me know what you want to RP and we can talk it over OOCly. I also may adjust icons or add gifs or something because I lack the icon space to cover all parts of his canon.

That said, to give some idea of my own take on the character, here's some additional notes on how I perceive his relationships with other characters and his mental states in certain points of canon under a cut. I may be flexible on some of these, but you need to ask. I'm friendly and open to private msg at any time!
( Character details )